Category: Joke Board
1. Never take a beer to an interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before
shooting them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to
church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to
change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you're included in
the will, it's rude to drive a U-haul to the funeral.
Dining Out
1. When decanting the wine from the box, make sure
you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to
'bruise' the fruit of the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always
hold it with your hands.
Entertaining in your home
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be
anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no
matter how good his manners are.
Personal Hygiene
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this
job should be done in private using one's own truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a
waste of money.
3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing
for a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a
social no-no, as they tend to distract from a woman's jewelry, and
alter the taste of finger foods.
Dating (outside the family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook,
especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive, Let her know you're interested:
"I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff
on the bathroom walls two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is
expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday," If
the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to
get her to school on time.
Theater Etiquette
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and
picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the
screen.. Tests have proven that they can't hear you.
Weddings
1. Livestock, usually is a poor choice for a
wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might
get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure
suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can
create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and
shoes for this special occasion.
Driving Etiquette
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles,
even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle
with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct
tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas
can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral
possession
GOOD 1 ..Smile
lollollol!
Thanks for pointing these things out to me. I need all the help I can get.
Actually, that's funny!
Bob